Wednesday, 7 December 2016



    Dear Vanessa,                                              

I’ve been dating this guy for 6years and I’m 28years now but the guy hasn’t even mentioned anything about marriage for once. I don’t want to appear desperate and I’m too shy to ask him where this relationship is headed. We love each a lot and are very compatible but I don’t understand why he’s just too relax or rather nonchalant on the subject of marriage even though he’s 32years old. What should I do?

Hello Lydia,

Thanks for reaching out to me. Here are some tips I think you should try out if you haven’t ready done them but first I must state that is like cooking, two people could go shopping for the same items to cook the same type of meal but the food won’t taste the same after it’s cooked. This is to say that, every relationship has its own peculiarities but my advice to you now will be based on basic tested and trusted rule of thumb for a successful relationships.

·         Rule #1: Discover yourself first. Much more than getting married, I want you to be “happily” married because being married could be the best or worst thing that can happen to you and discovering who you are, your passion and purpose in life is a major key to making sure that this is really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

·         Rule #2: Create a vacuum in his life. Like the old saying goes “you don’t need to buy the cow when you can get both the meat and milk for FREE”. As a lady you can’t afford to just leave yourself for a man as in you wash, cook, shop, clean, have sex and have his baby without any commitment from him. No sister, have something in your reservoir, learn to hold back a little.  

·         Rule #3: Let every moment you spend together be a moment to remember. That dinner or movie date is not the time to nag him or remind him of what he did wrong yesterday neither is it the time to tell him your mother is sick or you need to pay house rent etc. If he has happy memories anytime he's with you, if he feels encouraged and motivated towards life, the Ring will come quicker. This simply means, show him what he stands to gain having you as his own legally (emphasis on legally).

·         Rule #4: Take two steps forward and 1 step backwards. The trick is to make him MISS you, your company in fact everything about you. Be available but not too available. Find out what makes him happy, things that excite him for example, does he like food? What it’s his favorite meal? Make that meal for him but once in a long while. Keep him interested. Keep you in his thoughts.

·         Rule #5: Happiness has a scent. Try not to lose your sweetness and let your frustration about his reluctance show on you. There’s nothing as attractive as a happy. Don’t pretend to be happy, be truly happy. Happiness comes from many ways such as loving yourself, pursuing and fulfilling your dreams and purpose. Happiness is contagious so be happy always.

Do let me know how you process. I look forward to hearing from you soon with good news accompanying. Take care of you.

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