I once tuned into a radio program where the broadcaster gave staggering statistics on the current rate of divorce. She was discussing the importance of finance (money) in a home.
One woman called into the program to share her experience. She said, “Once my husband lost his job, my (eight-year old) marriage went to hell.” Despite her misfortunes, her career has continued to blossom.
Let’s look at the couple’s back story. You see, it all started as all good old office romances do—with a lot of promise. As colleagues in the bank, they dated and eventually, tied the knot. Shortly afterwards, the husband got a better offer and moved to a different bank, while she stay back in the bank where they’d met. For a while, all was bliss in both their marriage and their careers. Fast-forward to a few years later. For some reason, the husband lost his job. Yes, he had to sit at home and temporarily depend on his wife for his every need.
The wife, on the other hand, was exceling in her career. She kept getting promotions, salary increments, bonuses, and so on. And this drove her husband nuts. He morphed into a nag and constantly accused her of infidelity. How else was she closing all those deals at the bank? When she couldn’t take it anymore, she invited their pastor to intervene. The husband flared up at both pastor and wife, then he proceeded to accuse them of having an affair. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The man walked out of the marriage after that.
“I lost my marriage because I was successful,” she said.
Many callers empathized with her. Others blamed her. But there was this interesting one, a career woman who insisted she would never apologize for her success. Men ought to be contented with being ‘stay-at-home dads’, until the desired job comes along. But she didn’t stop there. She went further to say, if her salary was higher than her husband’s, and her kids needed parental care, the man would have to step into the shoes of the caregiver. Considering the current economic crisis, the reasonable thing will be for the man to care for the kids while she plays the role of breadwinner. In the end, she said, “my children need money to have a better life so… my husband should be able to contribute his own quota and put his ego aside.”
What’s your take on the matter? Should we embrace the culture of having ‘stay at home dads’? And will this change save finance-starved marriages from hitting the rocks? What do you make of the banker’s story, though?
Kindly leave your comments below. I look forwarding to reading your thoughts.